First Learning Experience

It is amazing what one learns about one's self an one's spouse when you first start living together...

Have you ever seen the movie Wall E??? First of all if you haven't then there's something wrong with you... Just kidding :) But seriously what's wrong with you?

We'll pretend we all know what I am talking about... In the movie, there is a robot whose sole purpose for creation is to clean. He has a track he's supposed to follow and he is supposed to clean everything that falls in line with his program...It is what it is for this little guy but its what he knows how to do.

For those of you who do not live with me or have never been in my apartment, I am a neat freak... So much so I clean my dishes and stove while I cook... Yeah that's just weird. I admit... There is a scene in Wall E where there is dirt the cleanerbot sees but it doesn't fall in line with the track he's programmed to follow... But the urge to clean the dirt is too strong... its so intense that he does the unthinkable... against his better programming he gets off his track to follow the path of most dirtiness. The viewer knows that Wall E himself is the culprit for messing up the cleanerbot's beautiful station... So its pretty hilarious to watch the cleanerbot's dismay as he follows the trail only to find that it never seems to end!



About a month ago my husband called me minutes before he was supposed to be at work at a loss because he could not find his uniform. "Oh loves I hung it up... your apron and hat are on the back of the bedroom door." He giggled and said thanks, I love you before he hung up... And thankfully he wasn't late. I kept working and then I realized that this was not the first time I moved one of his possessions and he was not able to find an item when he needed it.

I am the human cleanerbot following my husband's trail... And he's not even messy!

He has never complained about my obsessiveness or that he can't ever find his stuff... But I have learned my first lesson as wife... maybe I don't need to be so hot on the trail all the time.

Old Songs with New Melodies

Hello internet family... and welcome to a new year... so much is the same but the tunes have changed a bit. I have been sharing my life with new family and friends. One in particular, who goes by B, reminded me of my old wordy ways on the web so here I am again.

I am starting a new season. This is a season of joy and utter trust in God. I decided about a year ago to stop worrying about the details of things I could not change. I decided to trust in the Lord and lean on him for all things I didn't understand, truly. I have tried doing this before and I never quite made it all the way... This last year I am so pleased to be blessed to know the comfort and peace of giving it all to Him. I work as hard as I can in all that I do, but I know now I am only human and I can't do it all. Praise God, I don't have too.
 
Picking up where I left off about six months after my surgery the pain that I experienced due to the Endometriosis slowly started returning. Its just about full blown again, but Dr. Liem and I agreed that we wanted to hold off on another surgery for as long as we can. Thanks to all the blessings of my life, I can continue working on a pretty normal and regular basis. I have a few tricks up my sleeve that have kept the symptoms from becoming as severe as they were in 2010.


I am also completely oblivious to everything going on around me because I am crazy about my life with my new husband. He is my new story. He is my new melody along with this unbelievable weight that I have let go of. We have been married for three months and I never dreamed life could be this way. For all you hopeless romantics out there... marriage with God as your guide is way better than any book. I have told all who ask me how I like married life that "I knew it would be good... I didn't know it could be this good." So I want to share with you who if are curious why I think marriage is so great. I will also share with you what I am learning as a new wife. There are plenty of ways for a new marriage to become frustrating and make it seem like a mistake. No matter how much you love someone, living with a person can be hard... Or it can be the best thing you've ever had if you learn how to do it. I hope to be brave enough to be transparent and honest with what I am learning... Even in just three months I have learned a lot about myself and my loves. I am so thankful for all that I am learning and that we have had this opportunity to grow so much more in love.

Reading

"For the sake of My name I delay My wrath, and for My praise I restrain it for you, In order not to cut you off. Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For My own sake, for My own sake I will act." Isaiah 48:9-11b
One of my very good friends showed me this verse and I have been thinking about it constantly for the last 48 hours. At this point you may be asking why? God sounds so selfish and arrogant if you will in this very short passage. Lest He could sound this way if the person does not know or understand the full love of God. So the reason that this passage was so profound to me is because I viewed it from the perspective of our culture. We live in a postmodern albeit pessimistic society. One of the main questions young adults ask themselves is, "why am I here." Over many years there has been attempts by culture to fill the void that is the meaning and purpose for man. Yet here it is simply and powerfully written in the verse. Because God still sees some hope in man to bring Him praises he restrains His wrath against all of the evil we do towards Him. That is simply God's grace and forgiveness. The point, my dear ones, is that we were created to bring Him praise and Glory. True, sometimes it is hard to understand how best to do that. But the nugget of gold here is that this is the answer to life. This is the reason  you and I are on this earth. We are here to bring praise to God almighty.
Now I had to ask myself why I didn't understand this to such a degree that I did yesterday. I believe that because of our culture, many of us view our calling as being our purpose. In fact they are two very different things. Our calling is the gift God has blessed us with in order to fulfill our purpose of glorifying him. Keeping in mind that the Bible tells us to glorify HIm in all that we do, even eating and drinking, this single verse has brought so much hope to my life. Yes, the universe is a huge place and I am only one person. But God sees that as so valuable that me holds back His wrath so that I may continue to have an chance to praise Him.
Little epiphany of my own, thanks for reading!

Post Surgery

Well, I feel as though I am probably being redundant by writing this... but this blog has become very cathartic and special to me. My apologies if I do repeat myself - you can stop reading now my friend :)
It has been three weeks since my surgery. I feel amazing. So much so that I had no idea how painful my life had become before May 12 when I started the process of getting my life back. Three tiny little scars on my stomach later... I thank God everyday. 
Endometriosis is the phantom that was hiding from the doctors for a full year and half/ 18 months/ 548 days. This is a genetic condition that is fixable. The doctors said that they caught it early enough to prevent severe damage. I have started to add extra precautions to make sure that it doesn't get out of control again. Provided I'm careful, I shouldn't need another surgery. Unfortunately, there is a chance, but my doctor appears to doubt that it will return and is being professional in just giving me the possible outcomes. If I need surgery again, we know now what needs to be done and what happened for the last 18 months won't happen again. I am so thankful that the Lord didn't see fit to allow it to go on anymore than this. In the grand scheme of life, he was very merciful to have it last so short a time.
So recovery... isn't fun. I feel - can I describe the joy properly? I feel amazing. I am so excited. I am full of energy. And all I am allowed to do is walk lol. No exercise, lifting, running, no fun! This may sound rather spoiled, but at the end of July when I am "done" with my rest I am going to run down the street. I literally dream about running lol. I also have every intention of going bowling. I haven't been in far too long.  
Life post surgery has been good. At first I felt like I would imagine what I would feel if I got hit by a truck. That only lasted for about three days. My doctor was shocked when she called to check up. I am a head of schedule as far as how I feel. There are a few sharp pinches here and there from nerve damage around the incisions, but I am rather thankful for them. They let me know I'm healing. The hardest part is that many of my muscles have atrophied from not being used much the last few months. My legs get so tired after walking just a few blocks. Hysterically my abs are all but not existent. My posture rather sucks right now - but we're working on that -as I straighten my back while I write to you. 
I hope that this is the last blog about this chapter of my life. Though the Lord made many great things come out of the experience if he should see fit to do it again then we'll talk again. I just wanted to say that I am so thankful for everyone who prayed for me, read this, cried and laughed with me, asked how I feel, listened, and encouraged. I am so blessed to have so many lovely people in my life. I truly showed me what it is we have to look forward in heaven. All under one God praising him and loving each other... How exciting. Thank you all for showing the love of God. May he bless you and keep you always.
Love 
Britt

Surgery

Hello my faithful and wonderful friends. I just got the best birthday present anyone could ask for. I told you all that I was approved for surgery. The situation became complicated when one party was requesting a preventative appendectomy and the other party was unwilling to provide a secondary surgeon to be available. We were hoping basically to have two procedures done at once.  What I didn't share with you was that they were saying I may have to wait up to four months to have it done. There were several complications that made scheduling my operation very difficult to coordinate. However, the office called me today to tell me that my post-op appointment will be on May 5th and that the surgery is on the books for May 12th. (Five days after my graduation, the Lords timing is amazing.). I am still not clear on whether or not they are going to perform the appendectomy as we've been praying for. However, when I spoke to my doctor yesterday, he had mentioned that this appointment wasn't to be made until he could find a surgeon to have it removed. Being that it has been scheduled makes me believe that he has chosen a surgeon to perform the second surgery while I am in op already.
A lot of information and still many unknowns because we are working with so many different doctors it can be hard to keep everything straight. The best news is that things are still moving along at a decent pace. Even better that we may finally have an authorization for the preventative appendectomy. Thank you so much for your prayers.
Love always
Britt

Guardian Angel

I never thought I would have news so soon after writing to you. I had another doctors appointment this afternoon with an OB/GYN specialist who wanted to talk with me about my condition. (That makes four doctors appointments with Kaiser in less than two weeks, unheard of before now.) I have two wonderful things to say. These doctors have been doing a particular examination on me that is very very painful. As it turns out, I just needed to be honest with them about how much it hurt me and there is another form of the test they can do that is not painful at all. So no more bad tests! Secondly, this OB is also a surgeon and she feels as though I should have the lapriscopic surgery. The reason being is that she is fairly confident that I may have endometriosis in which she can remove the damaged tissue that is causing all of my pain. On a side note, they are also going to look at my appendix and possibly remove it just to be on the safe side of things. The request for the surgery went in today, but it is going to take about a month or so for them to be able to set it up. I really don't care. I've been in pain for fifteen long months and I highly doubt a couple more will break me. I was so surprised because it sounded to me as though they had already decided to do this surgery before I even got examined today. This means that my doctors are finally talking to each other and coming to agreement that something must be done. It is an answer to all of our prayers. While this may not be the final answer it is a step in a direction that we've not taken yet. I am so encouraged and I just wanted to share with you all the good news. Thank you so much for sticking with me through all of this.
May God Bless you and keep you always.
Love
Brittany

Encouragement

Its been a while since I talked to you friends. Mostly because I had nothing new to tell. But now I have something very encouraging to share with you. So I hope you enjoy this change of tone. I am very excited and I've been praising the Lord all afternoon. I do want to preface this with letting you know that even though today was a break through, we have a long way to go.
My Aunt Terry is very involved in the Medical world. She's superwoman and she actually runs the Sheila R. Veloz Center at Henry Mayo. She has been looking for someone who could possibly help me with my situation. Low and behold, the Lord grants answers to our prayers and my Aunt Terry sends me to an angel.

Today I met with someone outside of the Kaiser program. Expensive, but completely worth it. She was unbelievably sweet, compassionate, and on fire to get me better. The first thing she suggested I may have was chronic appendicitis. I have to share with you that my mom, grandma and I have thought it was appendicitis since about March of last year. Because there is no test, we've asked five different surgeons for the lapriscopic analysis needed to see if the appendix is bad. They have all said no without providing any further suggestions for diagnosis or even offering a reason for denying the surgery. The second thing my Angel said was that I may have endometriosis, which also requires lapriscopic analysis for diagnosis. She repeatedly said she would like me to undergo this procedure. 
Because of the system's organization, she could not give me a referral, but she can send me to another doctor who can send me to Kaiser with a referral. I have already spoken with the people who are going to get involved and the ball is rolling. Please pray that their voices be heard by Kaiser because they will most likely ignore the advice of these outside physicians. If so, my case could be dragged out for a very long time and I am in so much pain. It's also getting progressively worse. I don't want to be a burden on my family and friends anymore either. So I am encouraged. I hope you are all encouraged with me. I am so thankful for your prayers. They give me so much strength. May God bless you and Keep you always.
Love Always
Brittany <3